#LoneGirlTravels: Keep It Simple, Silly

As I sit here in possibly one of the nicest cafes that I’ve ever been to, on my last day in Amsterdam, I can’t help but think about the summer that’s gone by. Little things that made it special; and some other things that made me tougher.

At the beginning of this year, I announced to my friends that this was going to be my year. I could feel it. I was determined to make something of myself, spend more time with those I loved, let go of certain inhibitions I had held on to for so long, stop whining and just make the most of everything life throws at me. I didn’t realise then what life really was going to throw at me. I thought I was invincible. That no one and nothing could ever hurt me.

So when I fell flat on my face, because of some mistakes made by me and some by others close to me, I thought it was the end of the world. I thought I’d forgotten how to be happy. I knew I’d learn again, but I also knew it was going to take a long time. I walked around with a smile plastered on my face so as not to worry those who cared about me, and also because showing emotions (particularly sad emotions) does not come easily to me; but in truth, I could almost hear the million different broken pieces of my heart, mind and soul clinking inside me.

I know, it sounds dramatic, but I am a bit of a drama queen as you’ll also learn if you continue to read my posts. However, I digress, as always.

Again, I didn’t know what life was going to throw at me when I felt all of these sad things. Life is funny, no? I have to say, that in the last couple of months since my mini breakdown, I’ve only been grateful for everything that has come my way. The good, the bad and the ugly; and there’s been plenty of them all. I’m learning, though, to only concentrate on the good. There’s so much of it.

I’m going to share a little bit of what each city taught me in my next post. I actually intended to do that in this post, but as a result of letting my thoughts run too far, I’ve ended up writing a much larger “introduction” than I intended.

I am going to share with you what I’ve learnt in the city that I currently am in, though – Amsterdam.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve heard one too many people tell me how great this city is. It’s what people had told me about Barcelona. No offence to those who love Barcelona, but I found it rather overrated. I thought Amsterdam would be a similar experience. Too many tourists, just walking over each other to get to all the popular spots in the city. I was so, so wrong.

Too many tourists? Yes. Bad experience? Absolutely not. The complete opposite, in fact.

Within minutes of arriving in this city and lugging my 25 kgs of nothing across the airport floor to the taxi, and then from the taxi to my rather fancy hostel, I was in love. It’s not something that happens too often, right? Love at first sight? So I knew when I felt it that this experience was going to be special. And it was. Still currently is.

There’s something so exciting yet so calming about this city. It’s been a while since just sitting and watching people go by, or sitting on a pavement and singing made me feel so good. No, no, it wasn’t marijuana. I promise. It was a combination of things.

First and foremost it was perhaps the fact that it was the last stop on my adventure with my closest friend and soulmate. If there’s one thing that’s helped me get through a rough phase in my life, it’s been having some of the best people by my side. So honestly, I think that I realised more than anything else in the world, that you cannot do life without people that you love and in return love you.

Everyday to get across to where all the action is at in Amsterdam, we would have to take a ferry across the river. My friend, Vera, and I would run amongst all the other people to catch the ferry that was leaving for the other side. The funny part was that there was a ferry every 3 minutes and it was exactly a 2-minute ride to the other side. Yet, day after day, no matter how far we were and how tired, if we spotted a ferry leaving for the other side when we wanted to get back, we’d run to catch it. We didn’t have the patience to wait for the next one. It just showed me such a basic characteristic of most human beings – the need and want for everything to happen, now, now, now. I decided today to wait for the next ferry instead of running for the one that was almost leaving. Nothing great happened, but I did get to listen to my favourite song one more time before reaching my final destination. That made my day. So this exiguous experience didn’t teach me much, but it definitely reiterated something I already know – good things come to those who wait.

It’s my last day on a trip that’s been my longest away from home, so far. I’ve been nervous about it ending because I don’t know what lies ahead. I’m also excited because there’s so much I’m looking forward to. I’m just so glad I ended it in a city like Amsterdam, which I can say in all honesty is now my favourite city in the world.

I’ve been sitting at a cafe which I stated at the beginning of this post is one of the nicest I’ve ever been to. I look up from my computer screen only to realise now that that’s not true. I’ve been to cuter, quainter, prettier cafes all over the world. What’s special about this one has nothing to do with the place, it has everything to do with the frame of mind I’m in. I realised over this summer, but especially here in my last stop, that life is only what you make it. People are not always going to get you, they’re not going to get what you’re going through. They will not understand your actions and many of the things you decide to do. And that’s okay. When you decide to be happy, surround yourself with people that are good for you and realise your own worth, there is nothing that can hold you back. I’m happy because I can be. Because I can choose it over every other emotion I might feel.

So, in the very wise words of someone whose name I cannot find on the internet – Keep it simple, silly! Life is beautiful. 🙂

 

An Ode To Nature In Flowing Pastels

Buying a ready made Indian outfit without spending a bomb can be hard. Mahima Mahajan’s Spring/Summer collection might just change your mind!

When it comes to picking Indian clothes, I tend to be fastidious. Somehow, with ready made garments, I’m never really able to find something that matches the picture in my head perfectly. Either the colour isn’t exactly what I want, or the silhouette doesn’t quite fit the bill; more often than not, the work or embroidery on the garment is either too much or just not enough. It’s hard to find the perfect ready made Indian outfit without spending a bomb if you’re really that picky. This is one of the reasons that I so often like to get my Indian garments tailored exactly to my wants and needs; and of course based on the occasion.

I think the reason it’s so hard for me to find the perfect garment in the perfect colour is because I prefer lighter or pastel shades to darker ones. I tend to go for pretty pinks and soft blues rather than dark reds or maroon. These pastel shades are much harder to find in the exact shade you’re looking for. When it comes to the work on the garment, of course, nothing ever seems suitable enough! Too much work is a major no-no for me, lest I be left looking like the bride while simply being a guest at a wedding. Too little or no work on the other hand can leave you looking bland or as though something is amiss.

I got lucky though, and one fine day discovered Mahima Mahajan’s Spring/Summer collection!

For me, it worked just right. The colours and the work both matched what I was looking to wear to weddings this summer. The intricate jaal work with delicately hand-made birds in gold, make the first three outfits stand out for me. It’s fresh, it’s fun and incorporates nature in the most beautiful way. I’ve seen many people go wrong when trying to include aspects of nature into embroidery – even something as simple as flowers – but Mahima Mahajan gets it just right in my eyes.

The fourth outfit, I have to admit, is my favourite. The blouse stands out for me with it’s delicate sequence work. It’s not hard to look over the top while wearing something with that much sequence, but this particular blouse manages to look nothing but majestic. The sheer nude net on the blouse has been structured to look as though it doesn’t exist, creating an illusion that the sequence has somehow managed to fall perfectly on your body. The skirt has been tailored with as much perfection, making net, which isn’t exactly my favourite fabric, seem like a good idea too!

Scroll down to have a look at all the outfits I got to try out!

To shop the looks contact Mahima Mahajan. You can also shop for her collection here.

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Thank you for reading! See you soon. 🙂

5 Ways We Should Do Relationships Differently In 2017

For those of you who are die hard romantics, I must warn you before you proceed – this piece is probably not meant for you. Or it might be. I like to leave ends loose. But I’ve been told by some who had a glimpse at this just before I posted it that it makes me sound cynical. I’m not entirely sure I agree. I think it makes me sounds realistic. At least more realistic about relationships than I’ve ever been in my entire adult life so far; which has not been that long if I might add.

Anyway, coming back to the point. I like to think of myself as a bit of a maestro when it comes to giving relationship advice. “Giving” and “advice” being key words here. Because hey, it’s easier said than done, right? But if I could give myself some advice on how to do relationships differently in the time to come, here’s what I’d tell myself, and of course, everybody else who’s reading too.

1. Do more, expect less…

I know, we’ve all heard this before. But how many of us actually implement or even remember it when the time actually comes? I know it’s not easy to expect nothing out of someone you love; whether it’s time, whether it’s patience, whether it’s a listening ear, whether it’s just unconditional support; we do expect at least a little bit from our partners. And that is natural. In fact, if you ask me, to expect nothing is a bit abnormal. But if we all just begin to expect and want, who’s going to give? Who is ever going to be happy? Give, and in return, you shall get; but don’t give with the expectation of getting. It only sounds complicated, but it makes life much simpler when you begin to concentrate simply on what you can give, rather than what you can get.

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2. Do what comes to you naturally

Quit playing games. Be angry when you want to be, be gentle when you feel like. Forgive them even if they upset you if that’s what your heart wants. Stop trying to imitate their actions. Stop trying to be rude when they’re rude, nice when they’re nice, cold when they’re cold, loving when they’re loving. Do what YOU feel like doing. Follow your instinct. You’re not a clone. A relationship is not a bad Hindi soap opera with revenge as it’s plot line. Do what comes to you naturally and it will become very difficult for you to be unhappy.

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3. Don’t be afraid to commit…

Or over commit. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt (in my short adult life), it’s that the person you’re in a relationship with would rather hear you say, outright, that you want to be with them for the rest of your life, than a vague “who knows what lies ahead”. Unless of course, you absolutely don’t see a future with them. In which case, quit wasting their time and be honest. It’s not rocket science, but unfortunately most people just don’t get this and go the “I haven’t thought about it” or “let’s think about it when the time comes” way. If you haven’t thought about it, think about it. And if you can’t get yourself to think about it, you’re in the wrong relationship.

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4. Stop thinking they’ll change.

A very wise person once told me, “People don’t change, they only become more of who they are.” TouchĂ©. Whoever you’re with, whatever they’re like, they’re not going to change. What hurts you now will hurt you 10 years down the line. The qualities that upset you about them, will probably upset you more as time passes. A flirt will be a flirt. A person with anger issues never really quits being angry. I hope that my experiences as I grow older prove me wrong, but if there’s anything I’ve learnt so far, it’s this.

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5. Let go

I don’t like giving up, and I don’t particularly enjoy asking people to do the same. But, there are times when it is perhaps the best option. When something doesn’t give you happiness, takes away your sleep and peace, shatters your confidence and belief in yourself – let go. When you’re in a relationship you question more than you cherish, let go. When you don’t feel respected enough, let go. There are things and situations in life you can compromise on/in, these are not those things. They may not be wrong, you might not be right, but when something or someone is not right for you, recognise it and let go.

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Dear Women Of The World, Lift Each Other Up!

Dear women of the world, empower each other and help each other grow. You’ll only be making the world a better place for yourself.

“She’s my boyfriend’s ex. Such a bitch.” 

“She’s always sucking up to the boss. I bet she’d sleep with him for that promotion.”

“Have you seen the way she dresses up? All she wants is men giving her attention.”

“She’s not pretty. She’s fat.”

“She is such a demanding girlfriend. How does he deal with her?”

“She’s only with him for the money. Gold digger.”

“How can anyone be that sweet? She’s just so fake.”

Dear women,

Have you ever spoken to your boyfriend’s ex? Do you know her beyond the realm of social media stalking? If you do, and you have a genuine problem with her as a person, that’s your right. But if you hate her because she happened to meet and date your boyfriend before you did, don’t you think it’s a little unfair?

That girl who gets along with your boss… Maybe they genuinely click? Think about it. The boss is a person too, right? He/she can have friends. Don’t hate her because she happens to be that friend.

That girl who loves wearing her short dresses and hot pants, and showing her cleavage off a little – what’s wrong with her? She isn’t harming you, is she? She’s living her life the way she wants to and minding her own business. Shouldn’t you?

That girl you just called fat… Look at her face, say hello to her, have a conversation. You might discover that she’s not just pretty, but she’s actually beautiful – inside and out.

That girl you call a demanding girlfriend… Who gave you that information? Was it your time you wasted observing their relationship, or did her boyfriend tell you that? Ask him why he’s still with her then, will you?

That girl you call a gold digger… She might be madly in love. Maybe they’ve never even discussed their bank balances. Maybe she’s the one picking the cheque up after dinner. Maybe you’re wrong about her.

That girl you call fake… Maybe she was just brought up well. Maybe she was taught to treat people with love, respect and kindness. Are you really going to hate on her for that?

Women. Sweet, lovely, women of the world, lift each other up. Help each other out. 

Think about it – that ex of his you hate? The two of you might actually have a lot in common. Maybe in a different world, you could have been great friends. Maybe she’s a lot like you.

The girl who wants attention according to you – let her have it! Maybe she works hard to look the way she does. Give her her time in the limelight – and while you’re at it, appreciate her too!

 

How often do we hear women say any of these things about a man? If he’s not fit, he’s cute. If he’s dating a rich girl, he probably loves her. If he’s friends with the boss, it’s because they get along. 

Why do us women only find each other to attack? Are we really the weaker, easier targets? Even for each other?

We live in changing times. Times that are proving to the world just how incredible and strong we women are. But how about we prove it to each other and ourselves first?

Empower each other and help each other grow. You’ll only be making the world a better place for yourself to live in.

 

 

Hello! And Welcome To PynkInc!

Welcome to PynkInc. A space where a slightly crazy, slightly dramatic, and very passionate Indian girl wants to share her life.

I don’t know where to begin. It’s been such a long time since I’ve wanted to start writing for a website (or blog, as you please) of my own, that I’ve forgotten just what I wanted to write about. Should I write about the politics that I so closely follow and have so much to say about? Should I write about fashion, that I apparently have a flare for? Should I write about health and fitness, that I so desperately want to make a part of my life? Should I write about food, which I can consume all day long?! Should I write about my travels – which make me feel free and alive?

Believe it or not, I’ve just spent a good half an hour on the internet trying to find a positive word for “confused”. Yes, that’s me! I’m confused (and also slightly lame)- but I’ve come to the conclusion that that is in fact a beautiful word in itself. Why must I know exactly what I want? Why must I create a boundary for myself and then work within it? My possibilities, my talent, my ability to achieve are limitless. Just like millions of women (and men too) across the world.

So I’ve decided to keep PynkInc a space where I express myself and share my talents, views, opinions and life with you. I don’t want to limit myself to speaking about just one thing here – because as I said, I love and enjoy too many things in life. I have an opinion on everything – and sometimes maybe too much of an opinion (as I am frequently told).

Why the name “PynkInc” though, I’ve been asked by my friends and family. Honestly, I love and respect men and women alike. No that’s not me giving a disclaimer before I make an extremely nauseating feminist statement. I am a feminist, no doubt – and it’s not a negative term, btw. Anyway, I digress. My point is, that while I respect men and women alike, I am able to identify with women more (obviously), because I am a woman myself, if you hadn’t already guessed. And in the times that we live in today, more than ever, it is time for women to step up their game and empower themselves.

Pink is not just a colour. It is a symbol of a woman’s strength. Pink is the colour of universal love of oneself and of others. Well, at least according to google! Inc as we all know stands for “incorporated”- which in it’s very literal meaning stands for, “take in or contain (something) as part of a whole; include”. Therefore with PynkInc I hope to be able to make every woman realise that she is a part of something. She is not forgotten. Her issues have not been consigned to oblivion. She is included. She is real and relatable. She is beautiful and ought to love herself. Hopefully, I can reflect on and speak about some of those issues here, bouncing off of my own experiences as a woman in India, of course.

Why did I feel the need to change the spelling into this twisted version, though? To be very honest, I wanted PinkInc – but it was already taken! Sucks for me. But I think I got the cooler version by default (just let me believe that anyway).

I do hope to bring on board and collaborate with fun, talented people as I go along on my journey. But for now, it’s just me and my life. The life of pretty much an average 25 year old, Indian girl, who’s still figuring out what she wants in life. So if that interests you (even slightly), I urge you to please lend me your support!

Enough about my confusion, let me tell you a little about what my website will be about for now. I hope to (with immediate effect) include Fashion, Health (which will include a fitness vlog!), Travel (which will also include a vlog, but for now mostly the places I have already visited) and miscellaneous (and perhaps sometimes random) opinions of mine on just about everything! That will be where I start. I hope to include much, much more as time passes.

I hope that my content will engage you, inspire you, entertain you and ultimately make you want to never stop reading/watching it. Here’s hoping for the best!

Thank you, and welcome to PynkInc!