“You’re So Pretty” And 5 Other Things To Stop Taking SO Seriously

By the time you reach your 10th year on this planet, there is one thing you know for sure; the world is fascinated by things that look pretty. A couple more years and you begin to realise that the objectification of women as “pretty things” isn’t that rare. A few more years down the line and you’re accustomed to the vastly broad line dividing and deciding gender roles. Roles that tend to place women and men in two extreme ends of the same world. Now as a woman, some of these pre decided roles enrage me. I don’t just say this because women are still, in the 21st century, fighting for nothing more than equal rights. I also say this because the pressure these roles bring for men are pretty unfair. Whoever decided that the sole burden of running a house should fall upon a man? However, I digress.

The point I intend to come on and make by having this little debate with myself is that as women, there are certain things we just need to close our ears to and stop taking seriously. Gender division and inequality are not always blatant. Sometimes, they come wrapped in a beautifully shiny box. A box you need to break. 

So here are a few things I think us women need to stop taking so damn seriously!

1. “You’re so pretty”

I have to start with this one. Now I know that it’s a compliment; and us women are taught to take those graciously. You want to know the truth though? There’s more to you. I know women who take this as the ultimate compliment, and I’m not here to judge, but that makes me sad. When was the last time you heard “he’s so handsome” be the ultimate compliment for a man? You look for a man to be intelligent, to be successful, to be ambitious – but when it comes to yourself, why do you stop at the word pretty, good looking, hot? I’m sure it makes you happy; it made me feel good too. But then the realisation that that’s the only thing that mattered to anyone dawned on me. “She’s pretty” isn’t the only thing that should come to one’s mind when they think of you, should it?

So if you want to be something, be talented, be smart, be funny, be passionate, be kind, be ambitious. There are millions of things you can be other than pretty.

2. “There’s a right age to get married”

Some give the whole “biological clock is ticking” saga. Some say the older you get, the lesser the chance of you finding a suitable boy. Others just think older brides don’t make pretty brides. Then there are those who give no explanation at all, except that they think a girl just must be “settled” by a certain age; this certain age usually doesn’t go beyond your mid twenties. I’d like to issue a big fat apology to all of the above – because I vehemently disagree.

Sure, there’s a right time to get married; that time would be when you find the right person. It has nothing to do with age. I know people who fell in love and got married at 23 and I know people who got married at 40 because that’s when they found the right person. Getting married can’t just be a box you need to tick off in order to live the life everyone thinks you ought to live.

3. “Wow, you’ve lost so much weight”

If you’re someone who has genuinely had weight issues (and by that I mean if you’ve been unhealthily overweight) and you just lost it all in a healthy fashion, well done! If you’re on a crazy diet which makes you faint because you want to be “skinny”, think again. “You’ve lost weight” seems to be the only thing everyone is vying to hear. I see girls who are beautiful and in great shape trying all sorts of fad diets and driving themselves nuts only because they want to look like some model they saw on Instagram; or because their best friend just lost a tonne of weight. It’s great to want to be fit and healthy, but don’t make “body goals” your only goal.

4. “All guys are dicks”

Stop taking social media and every meme you read on the internet about “fuckboys” so seriously. If this isn’t gender stereotyping, I don’t know what is. It’s not a gender stereotype attacking women, but it is a generalisation based on gender nonetheless. Gender issues aren’t something you can do away with by attacking the opposite sex. Whatever happened to “Be the change you want to see”?

5. “You’re so much better than her”

Whether it’s your boyfriend’s ex, a co-worker, or even your frenemy (everyone has one of those) – the comparison just isn’t worth it. At the risk of sounding overtly preachy, everyone is where they need to be in life. Everyone has a different journey and a different path. You’re going to get your fair share if you work hard and concentrate on yourself. Comparison only causes insecurities. Perhaps it’s time we stopped worrying so much about who we can be better than and started focusing on what we can be better at.

6. “He/she is not good enough for you”

Because he’s not rich enough, or tall enough, or smart enough. Because he doesn’t live in a palatial house and could always drive a better car. Because your family backgrounds are so different. Because, hello, you’re better looking.

Screw that. This is when you shut your ears and walk away.

Stop listening to people who aren’t you when it comes to picking the person you might end up spending the rest of your life with. They will never know the person like you do. It’s easy to judge a person for what you see on the outside; but what’s on the outside is ever changing. It’s what’s on the inside that’s going to last forever. So fall for someone you can be yourself with. Someone who betters you and encourages you to chase your dreams. Someone with a good heart. That house, car and those ultimate good looks aren’t going to give you half the happiness.

Lace Is Here To Stay – And Here’s Why!

Lace is elegant and feminine, yet can be styled to look super edgy and bold. This is why lace is here is stay…

So I’ll be honest – growing up, I thought lace was tacky and definitely not something I would ever wear. I think it had something to do with a certain Hindi film I had seen as a child, in which the lead actress was wearing lace dresses through the film. Now I know that most of us aspired to look like those actresses, but no, not me. Even as a child, I didn’t want to be caught dead in the outfits our early 90’s heroines wore! And so began my aversion to lace.

Then one fine day, I grew up and realised that I could in fact wear lace and style it very, very, very differently from what I had seen. This shift I think came about when my obsession with Vogue (magazine) started. I was 15 years old and in boarding school, where the scope of being any sort of stylish was extremely limited. I remember my friends and I carrying numerous issues of Vogue and other fashion magazines back to school after the holidays. We would then cut out our favourite items from the magazines and make fashionable collages to stick inside our lockers! That was our fashion fix. We aspired to one day get out of school and own all of those pretty things stuck just above the mirror in our lockers.

My locker, surprisingly, or not, was full of women wearing beautiful lace garments, or women carrying bags lined with lace and even lacy lingerie! Suddenly, I loved everything made of lace.

So given my obsession with lace since the age of 15, I thought it was only appropriate that my first fashion post be about lace.

Lace has been around for ages, and I think it’s here to stay. That’s one of the reasons I never hesitate before buying anything made of lace, even if it is slightly expensive. I know that I can use it for a long time to come, so it’s well worth it. Lace is elegant, dainty and feminine, yet it can be styled to look edgy and bold. Here’s how I worked a lace skirt and top.

Watch out for more on lace and Velvet soon! xx

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Lace skirt, worn with a black front tie up top and a velvet jacket. 

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Lace top , worn with a baby doll skirt, ripped stockings and chunky lace-up shoes. 

 

 

Dear Women Of The World, Lift Each Other Up!

Dear women of the world, empower each other and help each other grow. You’ll only be making the world a better place for yourself.

“She’s my boyfriend’s ex. Such a bitch.” 

“She’s always sucking up to the boss. I bet she’d sleep with him for that promotion.”

“Have you seen the way she dresses up? All she wants is men giving her attention.”

“She’s not pretty. She’s fat.”

“She is such a demanding girlfriend. How does he deal with her?”

“She’s only with him for the money. Gold digger.”

“How can anyone be that sweet? She’s just so fake.”

Dear women,

Have you ever spoken to your boyfriend’s ex? Do you know her beyond the realm of social media stalking? If you do, and you have a genuine problem with her as a person, that’s your right. But if you hate her because she happened to meet and date your boyfriend before you did, don’t you think it’s a little unfair?

That girl who gets along with your boss… Maybe they genuinely click? Think about it. The boss is a person too, right? He/she can have friends. Don’t hate her because she happens to be that friend.

That girl who loves wearing her short dresses and hot pants, and showing her cleavage off a little – what’s wrong with her? She isn’t harming you, is she? She’s living her life the way she wants to and minding her own business. Shouldn’t you?

That girl you just called fat… Look at her face, say hello to her, have a conversation. You might discover that she’s not just pretty, but she’s actually beautiful – inside and out.

That girl you call a demanding girlfriend… Who gave you that information? Was it your time you wasted observing their relationship, or did her boyfriend tell you that? Ask him why he’s still with her then, will you?

That girl you call a gold digger… She might be madly in love. Maybe they’ve never even discussed their bank balances. Maybe she’s the one picking the cheque up after dinner. Maybe you’re wrong about her.

That girl you call fake… Maybe she was just brought up well. Maybe she was taught to treat people with love, respect and kindness. Are you really going to hate on her for that?

Women. Sweet, lovely, women of the world, lift each other up. Help each other out. 

Think about it – that ex of his you hate? The two of you might actually have a lot in common. Maybe in a different world, you could have been great friends. Maybe she’s a lot like you.

The girl who wants attention according to you – let her have it! Maybe she works hard to look the way she does. Give her her time in the limelight – and while you’re at it, appreciate her too!

 

How often do we hear women say any of these things about a man? If he’s not fit, he’s cute. If he’s dating a rich girl, he probably loves her. If he’s friends with the boss, it’s because they get along. 

Why do us women only find each other to attack? Are we really the weaker, easier targets? Even for each other?

We live in changing times. Times that are proving to the world just how incredible and strong we women are. But how about we prove it to each other and ourselves first?

Empower each other and help each other grow. You’ll only be making the world a better place for yourself to live in.

 

 

Hello! And Welcome To PynkInc!

Welcome to PynkInc. A space where a slightly crazy, slightly dramatic, and very passionate Indian girl wants to share her life.

I don’t know where to begin. It’s been such a long time since I’ve wanted to start writing for a website (or blog, as you please) of my own, that I’ve forgotten just what I wanted to write about. Should I write about the politics that I so closely follow and have so much to say about? Should I write about fashion, that I apparently have a flare for? Should I write about health and fitness, that I so desperately want to make a part of my life? Should I write about food, which I can consume all day long?! Should I write about my travels – which make me feel free and alive?

Believe it or not, I’ve just spent a good half an hour on the internet trying to find a positive word for “confused”. Yes, that’s me! I’m confused (and also slightly lame)- but I’ve come to the conclusion that that is in fact a beautiful word in itself. Why must I know exactly what I want? Why must I create a boundary for myself and then work within it? My possibilities, my talent, my ability to achieve are limitless. Just like millions of women (and men too) across the world.

So I’ve decided to keep PynkInc a space where I express myself and share my talents, views, opinions and life with you. I don’t want to limit myself to speaking about just one thing here – because as I said, I love and enjoy too many things in life. I have an opinion on everything – and sometimes maybe too much of an opinion (as I am frequently told).

Why the name “PynkInc” though, I’ve been asked by my friends and family. Honestly, I love and respect men and women alike. No that’s not me giving a disclaimer before I make an extremely nauseating feminist statement. I am a feminist, no doubt – and it’s not a negative term, btw. Anyway, I digress. My point is, that while I respect men and women alike, I am able to identify with women more (obviously), because I am a woman myself, if you hadn’t already guessed. And in the times that we live in today, more than ever, it is time for women to step up their game and empower themselves.

Pink is not just a colour. It is a symbol of a woman’s strength. Pink is the colour of universal love of oneself and of others. Well, at least according to google! Inc as we all know stands for “incorporated”- which in it’s very literal meaning stands for, “take in or contain (something) as part of a whole; include”. Therefore with PynkInc I hope to be able to make every woman realise that she is a part of something. She is not forgotten. Her issues have not been consigned to oblivion. She is included. She is real and relatable. She is beautiful and ought to love herself. Hopefully, I can reflect on and speak about some of those issues here, bouncing off of my own experiences as a woman in India, of course.

Why did I feel the need to change the spelling into this twisted version, though? To be very honest, I wanted PinkInc – but it was already taken! Sucks for me. But I think I got the cooler version by default (just let me believe that anyway).

I do hope to bring on board and collaborate with fun, talented people as I go along on my journey. But for now, it’s just me and my life. The life of pretty much an average 25 year old, Indian girl, who’s still figuring out what she wants in life. So if that interests you (even slightly), I urge you to please lend me your support!

Enough about my confusion, let me tell you a little about what my website will be about for now. I hope to (with immediate effect) include Fashion, Health (which will include a fitness vlog!), Travel (which will also include a vlog, but for now mostly the places I have already visited) and miscellaneous (and perhaps sometimes random) opinions of mine on just about everything! That will be where I start. I hope to include much, much more as time passes.

I hope that my content will engage you, inspire you, entertain you and ultimately make you want to never stop reading/watching it. Here’s hoping for the best!

Thank you, and welcome to PynkInc!